I think I've had one appointment since then. It wasn't my favorite appointment. I thought the doc would do an ultrasound and maybe tell me the sex of the baby. Instead he told me I wouldn't have another ultrasound until Week 26 with him. When his dumb ass nurse told me this, I naively asked "how will I find out the sex of our baby?" and she told me that my doctor doesn't like to know the sex, therefore, we wouldn't know either. Hmm. Well, stupid nurse and equally stupid doctor, this is MY baby, not yours. She told me I could go somewhere and pay to find out. You're damn straight I will. When the doc came in I made it very apparent that I was NOT a happy pregnant woman, and he decided to tell me a story where his wife was pregnant and her doctor told him the sex (but not her), and when the baby came out it was a different sex. Now, doctor, this was 30+ years ago, and modern medicine has come a long way since then, but whatever you have to tell yourself to keep from doing more work with your patients is fine by me. Whatever makes you sleep better at night.
So long story short, my hubby is home from work this weekend, and we are going to New Orleans to the place that did our little "first glimpse" ultrasound on Saturday to see if they can tell us the sex. I hope they can. We are so excited to find out, and not knowing is eating away at us. We can't properly shop until we know, and that's driving me nuts. I went to the Carter's outlet on Saturday and very nearly bought boy AND girl clothes. The temptation is there. We just want to know! We have names picked out and everything (that's how much of a planner I am... I would NEVER be able to wait until after the birth to name our baby, that's just stupid). So, if we have a baby girl, her name will be Harper Annmarie Bell. We both love the name Harper, and Annmarie is a combination of my favorite, sweetest grandmother's middle name and my mom's middle name (Ann) with my middle name (Marie). I think it sounds so beautiful and southern and precious. And if it's a boy, we're carrying on the Bell name and will have a Robert Neil Bell IV. I love carrying on my hubby's name. I have some people that don't agree with it and want us to be "original," but news flash: this is OUR baby, not yours, and I will not hesitate to put you in your place and tell you to suck it. It leaves a warm fuzzy feeling inside to think that we will have a 4th generation of Bobby Bell's, and I love it. Just love it. :)
So in the past four weeks I've been feeling really great, just pretty tired still. My appetite is back in full force and nothing is off limits anymore. Everything (but bananas) sounds good. And I finally started gaining some weight, probably because I stopped listening to my doctor telling me to cut out all sweets and good foods, and I've just been indulging in what I feel like. I did cut out all pop and most desserts, and I feel like that should suffice. I kind of feel like he was training to use a scare tactic on me, threatening me with a c-section if the baby was too big. But I won't let him scare me. I have to trust that everything will be OK and we will hopefully have a epidural-loving vaginal birth.
Speaking of birth, I tried to talk my hubby into hiring a doula. This nice southern boy wasn't falling for that hippie shit. Oh well, I tried. :)
I've been thinking a lot about nursing and child birth. I wish I could stop. Hell, I'm still 22 weeks from delivery (if we go full term, I guess). I've really been enjoying this part of the pregnancy and I'm loving the expanding belly and all the happiness that comes from a new life growing inside of you (especially the increase in sex drive, which is absolutely bananas). But as I get bigger and closer to the big event, I get realyl terrified. These first 14 weeks since we found out have literally flown by. If these next week go just as fast, we will have a baby before we know it. I just want it to slow down. It's going too fast. I think the thought of everything changing really scares me. There is so much going on in our lives right now. I am done working in less than 22 days. Our new house is very nearly finished and we are working on mortgage stuff right now. Then the baby. It's a lot to take in.
Just gotta remember to breathe. Like my hubby said, one thing at a time. House, then baby. Easier said than done.
I felt the baby move for the first time two weeks ago, right at 16 weeks. I was walking to my car at lunchtime and had to grab unto the hood of the car to keep from falling over. It felt weird, like jello moving around in my belly. To be honest it scared the hell out of me. But then I thought about it and thought "that has to be the baby, or else my internal organs are shifting in a way they probably shouldn't be." It was soooo neat and immediately gave me a high that I can't describe. I've felt some movement ever since then, but nothing like that first little jump in the uterine trampoline. I'm hoping I'll feel more as the weeks progress.
I celebrated my first Mother's Day as a momma-to-be two weeks ago, May 13. Hubby was working but he bought me cards before he left and had them on the table for me to open. One from him, and one from baby. It was the sweetest thing ever. I kept them (and all the other cards I got from people) in the pregnancy journal book my mother-in-law bought me. I love keeping track of things like that. Here I am on Mother's Day, before meeting the family for lunch...
So I guess that's about it. A lot of nothing but a lot of somethings. This weekend should be the big weekend. Once we know what the baby is all bets are off. The shopping will BEGIN. And we can start calling the baby by it's name instead of all these pet names we have for it.
Finally.
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